1. Body builders, especially female body builders on steroids. I’m not scared of them in a they- could- totally- kick- my- ass kind of way, because they wouldn’t be able to, but I’m scared in a what- the-hell-is that kind of way. The same way you’d react if you saw an alien or a hybrid insect wearing make-up and a top hat. It’s just creepy. I browsed through photos the other day and their muscles look like overgrown boils while their popping veins look like squirming worms. Here are two photos so that I’m not the only traumatised person here.
2. Fake eyelashes, the ones that resemble hairy spider legs growing out of your eyelids trying to eat your face. They’re long and thick and unnatural. Why is it that we’re always trying to look the opposite of human and claim that it’s the epitome of beauty? My friend and I would gawk sometimes when we saw girls wearing fake eyelashes that looked every bit fake. Sometimes I’d want to give them a hug and say, “There there, you don’t need that wig on your face”, but the thought of being attacked by eyelashes changed my mind.
3. Adults wearing costumes, like a giant banana or hot-dog costume. Ever since I was a child I thought they were creepy. Whenever I’d see them I’d want to run and hide because they always want to give hugs or shake your hand. I’d avoid eye contact as much as possible, try to busy myself with anything like oh hey look I have ten fingers, let me pinch each fingertip and see which hurts the most. A few months ago Hussam and I went to a restaurant, beautiful place, very Middle Eastern, but standing outside was a guy in a yellow Teletubbies costume. You know, Lala, the yellow one? I wish I didn’t know their names by heart, what was I watching as a kid? But he was standing there, selling balloons and the yellow of the costume was so dirty that it looked more brown than yellow. Why anyone thinks it’s cute is beyond me. And why is it that they always single out the person who’s trying to avoid being noticed? That’s sadism right there.
Anything in particular that creeps you out?