Miscellaneous photos. · Personal

“I’m feeling 22”

I’m no longer 21 years old.

Every year, on my birthday, I feel a little nostalgic. I think back on previous birthdays; the memorable ones. It’s as if I can’t believe another year has passed when four years ago feels like yesterday. Four years ago I was still in High School. Four years ago I lived in Doha. Four years ago I had people in my life that I believed would be in my life forever.

Four years ago I told myself that nothing would top my 18th birthday, because I celebrated my birthday on a dhow cruise in Doha. Calling that night magical would be an understatement.

I’m on a boat

But I didn’t want to be caught up in past birthdays, from limousine rides to dhow cruises to restaurants by the sea (I have awesome friends who love me) I just wanted to focus on now.

Focusing on my 22nd birthday rather than reminiscing about the past wasn’t hard to do because I’m happy. I was happy then and I’m happy now. There were grey areas where happiness was the furthest emotion I could hope to feel but, when I really think about it, just the good memories, the good times, I realise gosh, I’m fortunate.

I’m surrounded by amazing people, I laugh every day, and for someone who used to worry about every little thing, I no longer feel that way. Hakuna matata, right?

I know being 22 isn’t the same as being 70, but it feels as though I’ve been different characters in different novels, all of different genres.  I feel as though I haven’t just closed certain chapters in a book, but rather a million books in my 22 years of existence.

14 June, 17 years ago.
14 June, 17 years ago.

Throughout my time at University, people would always ask me, “Why don’t you want to go clubbing?” “Don’t you want to try weed?” and they’d always tell me, with a look of pity, “You’re only young once, don’t be boring.”

I have nothing against people whose definition of having a good time is different to mine. But I don’t need to get dressed up and go to a club to have fun. I don’t want to smoke weed just for the hell of it. And I sure as hell don’t want to get drunk because not remembering what happened the previous night must mean it was awesome (please explain the logic behind that one).

Boring ol' me getting ready for birthday lunch with the husband.
Boring ol’ me getting ready for birthday lunch with the husband.

I know what I want, for now (C’mon, I’m 22 I can be a little indecisive). And I know what makes me happy. If there’s one thing I’d like to do forever, it’s to always choose happiness, not in a selfish I-want-this-and-I-want-it-now kind of way but in a way that’ll allow me to learn from whatever bad experiences I’ll have. And yes, I believe there’ll be crappy experiences in the future, but that’s just part of the package, right? Kind of like what I told Hussam earlier today when explaining a genre of a movie:

Hussam: Is it an action? A comedy? Or what?

Me: It’s a comedy. But it’s also a drama. Like life.

I’d like to say that I’ll remain unchanged, for years to come.

But I have so much to learn. I’m not the same person I was four years ago, and I don’t want to be the same person four years from now.

Just slightly more awesome than the person I am today 😉

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17 thoughts on ““I’m feeling 22”

    1. Haha, I actually never leave home without wearing sunscreen. I’m a little crazy about it too, I don’t even let Hussam leave without putting some on for him :p

  1. Happy Birthday! As someone who is almost 26 years removed from 22 I say enjoy each and every year for the special and unique magic that it is. I marvel at the changes age has brought to me and I chose to see each of those changes as pure delight. You sound like you are on that very same path.
    Happiness to you! 🙂

    1. Thank you!
      I will definitely try and enjoy every year that I have, not wanting to live in the past or the future, just appreciating what I have in the present, whatever age I may be.
      Maybe you should do a post on when you were 22 😉 I love hearing/reading stories about others’ pasts and what they were like.
      xx

      1. You’re welcome. A post about when I was 22… hmm, oh my, what a post that would be. It was a huge and most pivotal year in my life. You know, you just might be onto something…

  2. 22 is a beautiful age. Good for you for not wanting to do as everyone else does!
    What you said about all the different chapters…different characters? So true, and that keeps going on the older you get. Sometimes I look back and feel that I have been so many “strangers”. I have their memories, but i don’t KNOW them anymore.

    1. I may only be 22 but feeling that you’ve been so many strangers? I can relate. Especially when I read past journals and I feel as though the person I was is so far from the person I am today.
      As long as time goes by and we’re changing for the better, then it’s all good. We can’t all just be the same forever. Maybe our core beliefs and so on yeah, but experiences shape who we are, and unless we’re standing still we’re going to have millions of experiences, good and bad.

      & thank you for reading 🙂

  3. Taz, I enjoyed reading this. Also made me feel emo, because I got flash backs of the celebrations we had back then…which I miss. But it makes me happy knowing that you are happy… That’s what we all want, right? I’m proud of you, u you have beautiful beliefs and morals. You’re always in my thoughts and my heart… Mwah

    1. Those were good times yes. The braais and the cake! 🙂 and all the laughs. That actually feels like a lifetime ago though. Maybe because it’ll never be that way again.

      Thanks 🙂 love you lots.

      PS whenever I hear some Enrique Iglesias songs I think of you, and the times we drove around listening to that album.

  4. I always say that if I could choose an age that I could be forever then I’d pick 22. I was old enough to make life altering decisions (I got married a month before I turned 22) but I was still young enough to be wild and crazy because I didn’t have major responsibilities that weighed me down. It was the best.

    Mubarak on your birthday, make every moment count, enjoy your youth and hotness 😉 xxx

    1. Exactly! 🙂 It’s like you’re no longer a child but you can still be child-like and youthful and all that. And frankly I love making my own decisions and being able to do what I like, it’s a contrast to when I still lived under my parent’s roof. This suits me a lot more of course haha, no more 10PM curfews 😉

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